It's a minor thing, in comparison to the other threads/requests....
December 27th, after 3 years my GF decided to part ways by sending me an email.... a **** email.
She left jewelry, clothing & family heirlooms (quilts, afghans, baby blanket). I've bagged it, placed it in a closet. We were in the process of remodeling/redecorating.
I'm having a **** of a time letting go and moving on.
I hope for your sake her name isn't Dana!
I don't normally hang out here and make a lot of comments, but this one hits home with me on so many level.
(Sorry this is gonna be long, but there's a lot that needs to be said to help you deal with this speed bump in your life.)
Without spilling out the entire story of my life, just let me say a few things that might help you some, since there has been some time since your first post.
I've been down this road a few times.
17 years of marriage and she flushes it all and takes me for all I'm worth. Her Boyfriend supposedly had more money than I did (He didn't) and I am a nice guy.
Then I got an real education about single life for 11 years after that.
Several girlfriends did the same thing you're going through.
Ok, you get the idea, I GOT THE "T" Shirt.
All in all I learned a valuable lesson.
You see, it's now been over 30 years since the divorce. And my second wife and I have been married for 18 years.
So this is sage wisdom earned the hard way!
My first wife did me an enormous favor! I see her now, and how she is with her 3rd husband and I am so relieved I'm not still married to her.
And my old Girlfriends from my Single Life Chapter are all basket cases who have completely ruined their lives and those of their children. Dodged a cannonball on those too! Thank God!
I didn't understand it when I thought my life and all my dreams were crumbling around me at the time. But now, many years later, I understand.
There was better things waiting for me.
Here's what you do with your EX.
Let her get her stuff. Send her a certified letter that you will hold HER items for her for no more than 90 days.
After that they go to Salvation Army.
If she wants the items she must make an appointment to retrieve them and must come alone if she needs to come inside the house. You must be there and watch her every second. Piling it all up in the garage is better. If she needs to bring assistance to load it, you tell her you will set all her items on the driveway at a certain time and she and "whoever" can load them from there.
Do not let her (or them) in your house. And especially if she has a Male Friend along.
Trust me, She HAS A Male Friend, and you do not need to meet him.
Knock the dust off your feet and let her GO!
Now what after she's gone?
Do what you have to do to get on with your life, but one thing you do not need is another girlfriend. Date! Date many different ladies! Get an education about how different women can be.
Go to Church and join their Singles Group.
That will give you interaction with other singles outside the Bar Scene.
Ride your Motorcycle with as many Group Rides as you can afford.
Stay busy, but learn to enjoy your alone time.
DO NOT DRINK YOUR SORROWS AWAY! NO DRUGS Either!
They cloud your judgement!
Learn to Country Western Dance if you don't know how. This will make you popular with the Single Ladies at Church. Enjoy your freedom!
Dance for the exercise and Fun of it.
Learn to cook! Keep your house clean and finish the remodel.
I remodeled my home too! Long story!
The RIGHT Lady is out there and she will be part of your life in due time.
When you start thinking "Is this the one?" make a list of what's important for you in a Mate. Check her against YOUR list.
Such as:
If you want a lady who will ride with you, don't compromise.
If you think hiking and camping are part of your life that you don't want to give up ever, find one that is already into camping and hiking. Don't find a trainee unless that Trainee has been sheltered and finds her new outdoor love! But remember, she could be faking it!
Want (More) Kids?
Does she have a career, or did she just depend on her EX to pay for everything.
This could cost you.
Lastly, here is an IMPORTANT Note.
Women will fall in line with your hobbies just long enough to get a ring for the security.
Financial and Emotional Security. Fact of Life!
Once they have the gold ring prize and paperwork, many will revert back to their original personality.
That's why it's important to find one who's personality closest fits yours.
Yes opposites do attract, but they eventually will lose that attraction and drift apart. Mainly because they are always pulling in opposite directions. Similar Personalities have a special glue bond that holds them together.
Oh and remember, Divorced Women are divorced for a reason. Learn the real reason why they are divorced and check into it. I even recommend, if you can, meet with her EX. If he seems to be a guy you could hang out with, run away from her. Do not repeat his mistake! They divorced for a reason! Search for the truth.
Example: My EX was a Gold Digger when we were married! (I was ignorant and Naive)
Her Husband #3 is loaded. He never met me before their wedding. But we knew each other years ago.
He's not attractive, very overweight and in poor health. Sad thing is I LIKE THE GUY! He's a lot like me, only with mucho money!
He gave her Power of Attorney right before they got married. She told him she didn't know he was RICH when he proposed. Although we knew him and his first wife when our kids were little and she always bragged to me back then about how much money he had then.
In short she played him! And she's spending his wealth as fast as she can.
He will be broke when she divorces him. And if he dies first, his Kids will not see a dime. No Prenup!
I share this with you so you will understand this FACT OF LIFE.
There are women out there just like her. So be careful, don't rush it, and do your homework.
If you date a lady 3 months and things start getting bumpy or rough, she's not the one. Never marry without, at the minimum of, a 12 month engagement.
Remember, if you see some hard quirks in her, It will never work.
They will try and change you if they are not the one!
And if they are into Drugs, RUN AWAY!
Enjoy your Single Life and make the most of it.
I did!
And JSYK my second wife and I don't always see eye to eye, but we are committed to working the rough times out together.
I wouldn't trade her for 10 of my Ex's in our best days.